Swearing Habit

Swearing Habit
By CWK Network Producer

“I cussed again in that class so I got another detention … it’s just in my vocabulary.”
— Tyler, 15

There’s more and more cursing in public — Vice President Joseph Biden’s overheard expletive during the recent signing of health care legislation, for example. It begs the question: Have people’s attitudes changed about what’s socially acceptable? Today’s teens may not think that swearing is a problem, but experts have a different take.

Most four-letter words have been around for centuries, but many educators, authors and parents feel that today’s teens are using those words more than any generation in the past. In a casual conversation between Verona and her friends, you need to “bleep” out a lot of words.

“Everyone swears,” says Verona, 14.

“I mean, it’s nothing big to us,” says Tyler, 15.

Experts estimate that the average teen uses between 80 and 90 swear words a day.

“I see kids all the time now who talk to their parents that way and talk to their friends that way,” says Deborah Christy, English teacher.

Where are kids picking up this language? Researchers say they hear it from each other and from the media, including movies, music and television.

“A lot more is accepted in the 7 to 9 o’clock time on TV. There’s a lot more that is accepted now than 10 years ago. So if kids hear things in the mainstream media, they are going to be more used to it, it’s not going to have the shock value, it’s going to seem more acceptable,” says Nancy McGarrah, Ph.D., psychologist.

“When children have seen that happening on television, they think it’s okay for them in their real lives,” says Christy.

The problem is that cussing can become a habit.

“And while your best friend may appreciate that it’s a joke, a stranger won’t, an employer won’t, a teacher won’t,” says Christy.

Tyler got sent to detention for saying the f-word in front of a teacher and then…

“I cussed again in that class so I got another detention …it’s just in my vocabulary,” says Tyler.

Experts say that parents should explain to their children that four-letter words send a message about you and the person you’re talking to.

“It’s a question of respect. It’s the image that I want you to present to the world… it’s how I want to be treated and it’s how others want to be treated,” says Christy.

What Parents Need to Know

In much of today’s teen culture, it has become acceptable to swear and verbally abuse others — more than in any previous generation. Emails, text messages, posts on social networks like Facebook and even overheard casual conversation can confirm the constant and seemingly acceptable use of those “four-letter” words.

A recent post on a student opinion blog shared the following teen perspective: “Given our culture’s tendency to make the private public, the increasing use of profanity in public – by intention or by accident – seems inevitable.” While parents may not be able to totally prevent abusive language from entering their homes (in music, television and online), teens should understand – and respect — the limits their parents set.

Parents can talk with their teens about expressions that put down and degrade others, online and in person. Language is a powerful means by which teens control the actions of others, including dating partners, parents and peers. Be especially vigilant for expressions that put down others, no matter how “innocent” or “joking” they may seem, and point out what these expressions really communicate.
For children and adults alike, swearing can easily become a habit. Parents must be especially careful to curb their swearing tendencies because young children follow what they hear parents say, and will also begin swearing. Research has shown that it takes 21days to break a bad habit. If swear words are part of your daily vocabulary, WikiHow suggests these strategies:

• Don’t think you’re cool when you swear. You’re not. But don’t think you’re not cool when you don’t swear.
• Learn more words if you need to. English and all other languages are full of amazing words that will help you truly express yourself and get your real meaning across to others. Subscribe to Internet sites that give you a ‘word a day’ or read dictionary lists that relate to emotional expression and feelings.
• If you use swearing as a source of attention, ask yourself what is lacking in your life and try to work on improving that aspect of yourself.
• If you want to swear because something has upset you, count to 10 and take really deep breaths. In the time you do this, the moment will pass.
• Exercise off your anger and frustration.
• You may think that the words only mean what you intend them to mean, however, it is what the listener interprets them to mean that is relevant in any social context. Some words may be inappropriate for a particular audience. It is usually better to err on the side of respect and courtesy toward everyone that is listening.
• It’ll take some time but eventually you’ll stop swearing; it takes patience. See if family or friends can help you by giving a lot of support to you for not cursing.